While every relationship goes through ups and downs, a toxic relationship is unpleasant and it drains you to the point that staying and trying to work it out, can be daunting and very cumbersome.
The negative moments begin to outweigh the positive ones and before long being in the toxic relationship mental, emotional and sometimes physical damages may occur in one or both parties involved. Some people even check out of the relationship but the problem with that is, typically you leave a large part of yourself behind.
Because you invest so much of yourself into the toxic relationship in the beginning, after leaving, you're depleted of a portion of your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-dignity. You may walk away feeling like a failure because you couldn't make it work.
Assessing the reason of the failed relationship takes being courageous enough to look deep within. In doing so, it helps you to learn how to get back to cultivating and having healthy relationships. The principles of overcoming toxic relationships apply regardless to whether it is a platonic, intimate, or romantic relationships. Be assured, you do have the ability to overcome and heal past the negative side effects caused by being in a toxic relationship.
Below are four signs of being in a toxic relationship.
1. Your partner consistently undermines you whether intentionally or unintentionally.
2. Your partner guilts you into making decisions based on their desires.
3. You feel bad for doing things on your own time, because you feel like you have to attend to your partner all the time.
4. Your current relationship has you consistently feeling sad, angry, anxious or resigned, like you’ve "sold out".
Be it victim or perpetrator; If you identified with one or more of these points, chances are you're involved in a toxic relationship and it's time to take action. A resolution to dissolve the relationship may be in order. If the relationship involves physical abuse, you may need to involve the authorities. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also available for 24/7 guidance at 1-800-799-7233.
Although it may not be neccessary to immediately jump ship on all of your relationships that are bumpy, you will need to determine if the relationship is workable.
Here are some things to consider;
1. Is this relationship causing me more harm than good?
2. Does this relationship have a negative impact on the overall well being of my mental health?
3. Is this relationship costing me my peace and joy?
4. Are both parties able to shift from blaming to understanding?
5. Are both parties willing to seek outside assistance from trusted genuine help?
Can you relate to those? Don't be dismayed--- be encouraged, you're not alone. After several careful observations
~consider if you need to have a talk with your partner
~decide whether the relationship is salvageable or not.
~decide if assistance of a certified counseling professional, or a personal life/relationship coach will be needed.
Determine what's needed most and begin your healing process today.
Have you considered working with a certified life coach?
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